I was talking to a co-worker today when another co-worker walked up and said something to him. He asked if she had a sore throat as her voice sounded scratchy. She answered, “Yes, I think I am coming down with something.”

And at that moment I thought, “Hmmm. My breast milk would probably knock that right out. I should offer her some.” This was quite thoughtful in my mind. Breast milk is the veritable elixir of life. Baby’s tear duct is blocked? Drop a bit of breast milk in it. Sore or cracked nipples or skin? Rub a little breast milk on it. Bug bites? Ear infections? Squirt a bit of breast milk on them. It heals what ails ya!

Nonetheless, my internal conversation continued and I thought, “Good God, woman, are you mad? You can’t offer your breast milk to a co-worker. If you do, she’ll look at you weirdly and never make eye contact with you again. She’ll talk about you behind your back and not even accept a cup of coffee from you lest it be tainted. Rumors will spread and the whole office will ostracize you. You’ll need to find another job. In another city.” And I walked away in a fog missing the rest of what was said between my two co-workers.

Am I the only breastfeeding mother this has ever happened to?

1. There’s No TV in the Office.  Dammit if I have the willpower to not turn the dang thing on.  And then watch it.  Not good for getting work done.  Plus, working in an office makes watching “The Office” a lot funnier.
2. Sun isn’t in the Office.  Even during naptime, I find it very difficult to focus on work with the baby in the house.  And dirty dishes in the sink. 
3. If I Meet with Clients, I Much Prefer to Do It in My Office.  Without the baby.
4. I Need My Secretary!!!  I hate paginating documents.
5. I Need the Social Aspect the Office Provides.  I like doing lunch.  Plus, where else would I get my girl scout cookies and seasonal wrapping paper if not from staffers selling for their kids?  You don’t get those offers at my house.

I have been asked how it is that I managed to talk my employer into letting me work three days a week and how my return to work is actually going.

First let me say that I didn’t really talk my employer into it. When I told them I was pregnant, I was very nervous–they probably thought I was about to give notice that I was quitting. It seems it was more of an issue to me than to them.

I was concerned about taking three months for maternity leave as well as reducing my time in the office upon my return. It was stated to me that as attorneys we have the benefit of being able to work anywhere. So for all they were concerned, I could work from home anytime. That is what they said. And I appreciated the words. But I had my doubts.

I feared that “out of sight, out of mind” would occur and if I was not in the office, I would not be contacted at home by my fellow attorneys with assignments they may have for me–that they’d opt to give it to the guy in the office next to me since he would be there. But in my office, no such guy-next-door exists. What I offer the company is a bit unique. I am certainly replaceable. But I had hope that they’d rather work with me (even if I was home or in every other day than train a newbie or learn to work with someone else). Only time would show me that my concerns were unfounded. Attorneys (and clients) SO know how to call me at home if they need my help! Seems silly now that I even worried about that.

To prepare (them and me), I made sure all of my files were up to date and organized so that anyone could pick them up and work them. I did my best to get my files in a position that three months of down time would not matter. And I reminded my office often of how long I was taking and what my schedule would be upon my return. Thus, even having Sun five weeks early, my desk was ready. I was prepared at that point that any day I could leave the office and not be back the next day.

Then I delegated like a mad-woman while on leave. During my maternity leave, I did come into the office about six times total, but checked my voice-mail and e-mail everyday; I did not post an “I’m on leave; call someone else” message on either, and I maintained the management of my files and my clients.

The bottom line, and something I learned ten years ago, is that I am an attorney all the time. There is really no such thing as “maternity leave.” In the past, I have taken calls from clients in the evenings and on weekends; I dealt with clients’ calls outside my dying grandmother’s hospital room and on the airplane on the way to my wedding. You don’t just walk away and say, “oh, someone else can handle my files today.” I am not necessarily proud of or happy about this; it is just a fact of being an attorney. However, I was very lucky that I had very accommodating co-workers during my leave that jumped in and handled the actual work at hand (my clients were very patient and cooperative, too). But if I was needed, I heeded the call. If to do nothing more than get the right attorney with the right client.

And now that I am back working, it’s the same message: I am an attorney all the time. I work three days a week in the office. I do not say that I work part time. Because that isn’t exactly true. Every day, I respond to calls and e-mail (and do more on days when I am home when it is required). But I do my best to schedule meetings and get documents out on the days I am in the office and have the aid of my secretary. Do I work less when I am home with Sun? Absolutely. But I also work harder (and a bit longer) now when I am in the office. I strive to see that my turn-around time is the same whether I am in the office five days a week or only three.

And that is the beauty of my career choice–it affords me a lot of flexibility. And I work for a company that gets that my asset is my mind and I can operate that asset anywhere. In the end, it is my choice to come to the office (more on why I don’t telecommute exclusively, Bayou Belle, soon). And it is my choice to stay home twice a week (and CS’s choice to stay home two other days a week) and keep Sun out of daycare. Because, like being an attorney, I am a mother all the time.

As an attorney in a not-so-small law firm, there are many opportunities to eat for free whilst on the job. Here’s a primer of how to save serious coin on meals.

Let’s start with breakfast. At my office, two attorneys bring breakfast once a week. One brings on Wednesdays, the other Fridays. Do you think it is a coincidence that two of my three days in the office are Wednesdays and Fridays? If so, think again.

Then, folks tend to bring left over cakes and other desserts they had at home that they’d rather not leave for themselves and their families to nosh on. These delectables usually arrive on Monday mornings (my third day in the office, and again not a coincidence).

And if it is carnival time (early January through Fat Tuesday), we have King Cakes in the office every Friday morning. Usually from Randazzo’s or Haydel’s. Never from a grocery store.

Then sometimes there will be some client meeting or whatnot that requires breakfast to be brought in. Extra danishes abound on those mornings.

Now let’s move to lunch. This is the real bonanza. If you don’t eat one free lunch a week at the firm’s expense, you just aren’t trying. First, there are department meetings. I am in two departments and they each meet once a month. That’s two free lunches a month. Sign up for other departments, that’s more free lunches. If you are a department head (I am not), that’s another free lunch once a month. Ditto for the management team and the marketing team–some attorneys are in so many of these that they could probably eat for free every day! Hell, just this week I attended a meeting I would otherwise have avoided simply because I had not packed a lunch and those four magic words were uttered: “lunch will be provided.”

Then there are lunches for the employees to discuss health insurance and the 401(k) plan and the like. These are usually about four times a year. Then there is the occasional Firm Pizza Day (and the annual Firm Turkey Day the Friday before Thanksgiving).

And often times you don’t even need to attend the meeting. If it is expected to have a large attendance, salads and pastas and other hot meals are ordered and served buffet-style. If you don’t mind eating at 2pm, you can snag the copious leftovers.

Did I mention that all of these free meals I’ve discussed so far are in the office? Free and delivered to your door. But if you are willing to step outside, then you can munch on like Pac Man. You can attend a lunch-time continuing legal education (CLE) program or attend a firm-sponsored table at a civic meeting. Or you could even take a client to lunch. And during the summer, grab a law clerk and head out.

If you manage to not get breakfast or lunch (and shame on you if you could not finagle either), fear not! You may still be able to snag dinner. Yes, there are CLEs that provide dinner. Or join an organization (that the firm will pay for) that meets over dinner. Then there is the once-a-year end-of-summer clerk dinner as well as the occasional firm dinner for just the attorneys. Sometimes it’s a client appreciation/development event that the firm sponsors and is more of a cocktail party affair, but you can still eat enough to skip dinner.

And in between all of these, there are snacks. The copier companies, court reporters, and other companies thanking us for or trying to get our business send the firm cookies and other afternoon treats. During the holidays, there are more treacle treats in our office than the law should allow–from satisfied clients to referral sources.

If you can catch any one of these meals, it really can carry you through the whole day. And that is good. Because if you otherwise do not have plans, you may find yourself spending $15 on a ham and cheese sandwich from a shop around the corner. It really is no wonder why I can’t lose those last 10 pounds of baby weight now that I am back at work!

Now that I am back at work, the things I really don’t like about working have come flooding back to me. With no further ado, here’s my Top Ten List of Things I Don’t Like About Working:

1. Having to Wake Up and Arrive at a Stated Time. Even though Sun is sleeping at least seven hours a night, I still don’t sleep well and am a bit of a night owl. So no matter when I go to sleep or how much sleep I get, I always hate getting up in the morning. Add to that the pressure of having to be in the office at a respectable time in the morning, and this waking up early thing is a real drag.
2. Wearing Suits. Now, I do like the garanimal quality of suits. I don’t have coffee until I am at the office. And not being a morning person, it is good that I can just match up my suit and I’m a-go. However, suits are expensive and far less comfortable than jeans.
3. Wearing Heels. With those suits come heels. My poor feet are killing me!! Too bad sandals look so bad with a suit.
4. Traffic. On maternity leave, I’d leave the house for an errand at around 11am and with no real time frame in which to get somewhere. Now that I am back in rush hour traffic, I hate it! People are so crabby in rush hour traffic (me included!). It sucks!
5. Paying to Park. While on leave, my parking costs were suspended. Now I am back to shelling out over $200 a month to park. It always sucked, but now I am only working three days a week. So by my math, I am paying $18 a day to park. Gulp. But I do pay extra for a reserved spot (I got tired of parking on different floors every day and “losing” my car only to spend 20 minutes every evening to find it. I was too proud to take one of those “You are parked on . . . ” Cards) and I do have in and out privileges and am protected from the elements. But I pay dearly.
6. Driving in Parking Garage. Our building’s garage is narrow and folks FLY up and down as though it were not two-way. It is frightening.
7. Crappy Office Coffee. It isn’t the $2.50 cafe au lait I’ve gotten myself spoiled on. ‘Nuf said.
8. Expensive Lunches. To not eat at my desk, it costs at least $12 to eat out. But really, it’s usually closer to $20. For a salad. Or a sandwich. Not gourmet. (How can it cost more to park than to eat??)
9. Stinky Bathroom. Though our office is just ours, we have a lot of women. And let’s just say it isn’t as nice in there as it is at my home.
10. Ruined Cuticles. With all the stress of waking up, dressing in suits and heels, driving in crazy traffic and the garage and the high cost of lunch and parking with no good coffee or a bathroom, my nerves get the better of me and I rip my cuticles to shreds as a result. It’s a vicious cycle.

As I am waiting for the doctor to come see me for my annual exam, I hear him outside the exam room. “Nola . . . recently had a baby . . . the ninth of June. . . is an attorney. . . .” What? Why is me being an attorney relevant? I think it is because I suspect that every doctor who hears that his patient is an attorney immediately thinks “attorneys sue!” to themselves as a defense mechanism.

The doc walks in alone and asks if I’d mind if a third year med student could do the exam. Sure, why not? How else are fledgling wanna-be doctors gonna learn?

We go through the Q & A part of the exam–do I smoke or drink? Any problems? Chit chat about my recent bout of mastitis. Then the doc exams me. Then he asks the student to do so. And then he asks her, “Is her uterus antiflex or retroverted or can you tell?” I’m all, “what the???” But then she begins the exam. My initial thought was, “Hey! He said my uterus not my tonsils!” Yipes.

Then she is done. She turns to my doc and says, “I’d guess [boy, those are some words that strike confidence from a doctor, huh?] retroverted.” And then my doc say, “No. It’s antiflex.” There is a bit of giggling (ok, I think that came from me–and it may have only been in my head) and then my doc goes on to explain the tell-tale signs of an antiflex uterus. Oh my. Well, this science class has been lovely and all, think I to myself, but can we wrap it up already??

I don’t know the difference between an antiflex and a retroverted uterus and whether mine being antiflex was good, bad or indifferent (maybe that was covered with the next patient). But I will admit that this whole med-student quiz tickled me but good. I enjoyed that she seemed to know no more about my internal anatomy than I did. Or maybe she was just nervous thinking I’d sue her if she got it wrong.

Today was The Day. My first “real” day back in the office. Officially. And the first day Sun has been away from CS and me all day. Gulp.

I planned on going to work on Monday but was quite distressed to discover not one of my pre-pregnancy suits fit me. Not one. Ohmygod. So I spent Monday at the mall buying “big girl” clothes — but just enough to get me to where I can lose the rest of the baby weight. Wouldn’t want to get too comfortable in my big girl clothes such that I don’t want to get back to my earlier weight (at least, this is what I tell myself!).

So today I am in a spiffy new suit. And heels. Heels! I haven’t worn anything but sandals for the last three months. I feel like the Hank Azaria character in “The Bird Cage.” You know, the one who tripped wearing shoes? Yup, that’s me.

Anywho, this morning went off without a hitch — my briefcase was ready, the baby was packed, CS even packed a lunch for me. We both felt like it was my first day at school!

Then I was off to meet my friend Wendy (over at Southern Mom) to hand off Sun to her. We had a rendezvous point in between our two homes and on the way home for Wendy from dropping Amber off at kindergarten — at a closed down fruit stand. Glamorous, huh?

Wendy calls me to tell me the traffic is tight at that location. So we detour and end up doing “the drop” on the side of the road. More glamor! So I quickly hand over Sun and her mountain of accoutrement when Wendy and my eyes meet with a singular thought. Wendy asked, “Does this feel illicit to you?” I felt I should be talking in code: “Here’s the ‘package’”; “the ’supplies’ are packed”; “the eagle has landed” (Ok, that last one was just for fun). Thankfully, there were no fat envelopes swapped. I think cops would have swarmed our cars thinking I was selling a baby out of the trunk of my car.

And Wendy has spent her day reminding herself why she doesn’t want a third child (good ole dirty baby diapers!) and blogging all day to keep me up to date. I wonder how she’d feel about installing a camera in her home for me to see Sun all day. . . . C’mon!

And thus today has been a success. I have even been invited to be on a Steering Committee for this great national organization of which I am a member for their 2008 conference in New Orleans! Way cool!

So though I am wobbly in my shoes, the worst is behind me. I have new work that actually envigorates and excites me (oh, how long has it been that I’ve been envigotated and excited about work?)

It is official: I am a working Mom.

After all the troubles I had with getting Sun to nurse, we finally got it down last week such that Sun is nursing first thing in the morning, last thing at night, and at the 2am feeding. The other three feedings are bottles (one breast milk, two formula). So I am now pumping at most only twice a day. I opted for this schedule so that whether I was at work or not, things would be the same.

When I am at work, I am pumping with a Medela Pump-In-Style pump given to me by a dear friend. She GAVE me her pump, a pump she used four years ago while she worked as a new mom.

And that’s the funny thing. This pump already knows my office. You see, the friend who gave it to me once worked in my office. Technically, we met through work and became friends. But we became friends five seconds after meeting and both knew we had found something special in each other. Then she had the nerve to up an move far, far away and we don’t see each other or talk as much as we would like. But when we do talk, all time slips away and it’s like we talk every day.

Every time I grab the pump backpack or plug in the pump, I think of my friend and her journey with being a working mother and striking that balance that makes it successful. I draw strength from her — she who works harder than most people I know but could get away with working half so hard to keep up with the rest of us; she who wants the best for her son and her parents and struggles to want the best for herself; she who has been down this breastfeeding/pumping road I am about to walk down and knows it can be done.

And so I didn’t just inherit a breastpump, but I am also benefiting from the journey this pump has already been through with its previous owner. I’d like to think there is another mom-to-be out there to whom this pump will pass in another couple of years.

As it turns out, I will have taken 14 weeks for my maternity leave, not the 12 I had initially scheduled. I was due to return 3 days a week this week, but with Labor Day being Monday, I pushed it back a week so that I’d start on a full week. Then it looked like the hubs was going to be out of town next week, so I pushed it back a second week, and when his trip canceled, things were already in place for me to start work in two weeks.

I haven’t not worked for this long since law school — if you can call going to law school not working! Outside of that, I have worked to some degree since my first job in high school. Good God. I have been working for twenty years!!

Point is, I have enjoyed having the time to myself and to have gotten Sun on a schedule (she has consistently slept at least six hours a night for the last three nights!). There is one thing I noticed I particularly miss about not working: holiday time! Sounds crazy, huh? But it’s true.

In an office job, holidays are so welcome. But yesterday, it wasn’t Labor Day to me, it was just Monday. Being home every day, I have started to lose track of days — they all feel the same. Fridays no longer have any excitement about them. The weekend days feel just like weekdays. And not in a everyday-is-Saturday but in an everyday-is-Wednesday — humdrum and regular.

So though there are many things I will miss when I am back in the office, the shared experience of holidays is something I look forward to. Leave it to me to find that I miss work because I miss the holidays!

I am back at work for the next couple of Fridays to help the transition of officially being back to work a bit easier. Going in before I am due allows me to get work done, chat about Sun, and sort through 500+ emails without getting new work yet. It’s nice. It also affords me the opportunity to eat at restaurants where a baby may not be so welcome. Yesterday’s culinary foray was to John Besh’s new Franco-German brasserie, Lüke. It did not disappoint.

Walking in, you see the seafood bar that has fancy crab legs and oysters from everywhere. The restaurant has a really good look to it; it is very inviting and relaxing with a nice bustle to it. Our waitress was pleasant, too; she was conscientious without being overly zealous.

For starts, I had the house salad. This is a large salad that has bits of pickled cucumber, carrots and beets nestled under the butterhead lettuce and is garnished with dill. Yummers! My friends ordered a soup and beet salad and these were both enjoyable too.

For my main dish, I ordered the red fish court bouillon with shrimp, crab and oysters. I had never had a court bouillon before, and I LOVED this dish. It was savory and juicy and chuck full of seafood without being overly rich or “soupy.” I was also told by my companions that the sauce for a court bouillon can be a bit like a shrimp creole sauce and that this court bouillon seemed more brown. It did have a tomato-y taste, but not like a shrimp creole. And that is a good thing for me. I like shrimp and I love tomatoes but I loathe really dislike the two together in shrimp creole.

My two friends each got the same thing–the croque monsieur. Lüke also offers the croque madame–the famous ham and cheese sandwich with an fried egg added to the top. The three of us all love the croque monsieur at Rene Bistro, and by the looks alone, this one did not seem quite as good. It was large, but it looked a little dry. The presentation was nice–they serve the sandwich on a wooden cutting board; this is a sandwich to be eaten with a knife and fork, and this presentation certainly encourages that. My friends confirmed that they preferred Rene’s but felt this one was pretty darn good. The pomme frites were excellent.

Overall, I really liked this restaurant–from the decor to its downtown location to the wait staff to (most importantly) the food. It hit on all cylinders and left me most satisfied. It certainly made my (almost) return to work a pleasure.