“Which School Will Sun Attend Next Year?”

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That question stops me in my tracks.  It makes the blood in my veins turn to ice.  It is the single most thing I have worried about, revisited, decided, started over, anon since Sun was born: Where will she attend grammar school?

For over a year, the decision has been at a smallish Catholic school near where she currently goes to daycare.  Let’s call it Academy of Nagging Gnawing STress (or ANGST for short).  It’s not our parish, but it had the right “feel” and all the appropriate awards, certifications, etc. AND an amazing library.  All the perks were in place–I like the staff, the other parents I’ve met, music classes weekly, etc.

But the one worrying doubt I have about ANGST is that I don’t known any child, or the parent of any child, that is a student there.  I’ve since met a few parents, but I don’t “know” them well enough to ask what their process was in selecting ANGST, nor do I know them well enough to have a high value of their decision.  If I had just one friend that I could get that resounding, YES, WE LOVE IT! I’d be done.

Instead, the few people I know that are “in” the grammar school world (ie, teachers, speech pathologists, administrators, etc.) say very little about ANGST.  It seems not to be on the radar.  Why is that? It’s so frustrating!

Today, in casual conversation with my sister’s sister-in-law, a speech pathologist that works with children, said she that several ANGST fourth-graders and up are her patients.  *Sigh*

This friend has young children, one with a slight hearing impaired problem.  Her older is in high school (one I’d happily send Sun to), and the younger (with the hearing condition) at a very small private school that is necessary for her special needs.  She mentioned a school I hadn’t considered because it is not close enough to our house.  She said that school was a “high school prep school.”  I’d never heard that expression regarding grammar schools.  Weren’t all “high school prep schools”?  Apparently not.

I tossed out the names of the other schools I’d batted about previously.  One in yet another distant suburb got good marks from her.  The others made her raise the question of whether I’d considered two schools that go from Pre-4 through 12th grade.  I’d honestly not even considered these.  And now I am.

And here is where I am now.  Struggling to pin down what it is I REALLY want in the way of education for Sun.  To say “I want the best for her” isn’t saying enough, or anything really.  In other words, what would I want for Sun’s education if location and money were not issues?  Let’s start there.  Without limitations, what would be the ideal school for her?  Would it be ANGST or would it be one of those prestigious schools that costs twice what ANGST costs?  If not, then am I settling for ANGST?  Is that fair to Sun?

I don’t know.  I have been to one of the prestigious schools but not two of the others.  The one I went to was not right for Sun, tuition aside.  Do I owe it to Sun to check the other two?  What if I get that warm fuzzy “it” feeling at one and realize we cannot afford it?  Do we send her anyway and cut expenses elsewhere?  Or do we admit that it’s a good lesson for her to learn to live within her means?

So here I am, back to asking: What do we REALLY want in the way of education for Sun?  Here’s my checklist:

  1. A solid education;
  2. To be educated in a grammar school that feeds to the very good high schools in the area;
  3. To have friends that will hopefully be in her life for the rest of her life;
  4. To have extracurricular activities that focus on being a child and not boosting your resume;
  5. A school that is close enough to the house that she’ll easily be able to spend time with her friends after school and on weekends.

Ugh.  Am I overdoing it?  Is that even possible?  Do I settle on the decision I’ve already made for Sun to attend ANGST (next year) or do I go to Open Houses again this winter?  What can that hurt?  If I stay settled and two years from now realize ANGST isn’t a right fit, will it be detrimental to then move her  such that I’ll wish I’d have more thoroughly searched NOW?

CS is willing to look anew but feels that many schools are “good enough” and paying more may not do her any better in her life.  Top scholars nor top schools guarantees success.  Look at us, he’ll show as Exhibit A, we were moderate students in moderate schools.  And we are both considered successful in our fields, in our lives.

So what the hell do I do??!?!?!!

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