This holiday season was certainly seasoned with ups and downs. I wasn’t much up for the big bash we usually host and so my sister graciously stepped up to the task. My in-laws came in and spent two weeks with us. That would prove to be the brightest spot of the holidays.
And let me take a moment here to say that I’m relatively certain that a certain relative knows of and reads this little blog of mine. So, em, HI! I’ve pondered whether to ask or down right tell this relative about this corner of the internet. But I feel weirded out about them possibly knowing and not telling me. So we’ll keep pretending in real life if that’s what needs to be.
I am too exhausted to go into the details, but on the eve of Thanksgiving, things with one relative were edgy. In the end, CS and I spent the day at home with Sun. We ate ribs. And relaxed. It was nice.
Then Christmas Eve found another relative upset with me. Apparently this has been months in the coming. At least, that’s what their behavior towards me would indicate.
Then there were some harsh e-mails.
Then the Thanksgiving rough relations flared again on New Years Day.
Lovely, eh?
I see now why some people do not like the holidays and avoid family gatherings. But the thing is, I LIKE my family members. I don’t like all of them all of the time, but generally speaking these are people I’d chose to be friends with if they weren’t family. In fact, I think taking that family obligation out of things would make our relationships better. So I am not shying away from family gatherings any time soon.
My sister commented to me (the way only a sister can and get away with it!) that I am a little… she struggled with the word. “Not catty,” she said, “I guess demanding. You can be demanding.” And (okay, pay close attention, I am about to be brutally honest) she’s right. It’s not demanding, so much as just not polite about asking those close to me for something. For example, if I were at your party and I needed to know where the napkins were, I’d ask you, “Excuse me, can you tell where your napkins are?” To my family, I say, “Hey, where’s the napkins?” or worse, “Hey, I need a napkin…” And leave it for the person to know I am asking them to STOP WHAT THEY ARE DOING, including any conversations they may be in, and get me a napkin.
Manners, people. Manners. Mine aren’t that great around my family. Ok, there. I admit it. And this has been seen as me being rude, disinterested, disrespectful. And dammit I can see their point.
In any event, this leads me to my New Years’ resolution: I resolve to be better mannered, NICER, less sarcastic, especially with my family.
What’s your New Year’s resloution?
WOOHOO!
not only a post but a good, thought-provoking one. Nice blending of honesty, self-reflection and the good kind of confrontation (just admitting/naming the issue).
my resolution, so to speak, is to get this house whipped into shape 1st & foremost.
Would probably be good if i’d actually read & comment on more blogs that I enjoy as well. Maybe write more than 1/3 of the year on my own blog.
ender´s last blog ..A Very Sculpey Christmas
I stopped with resolutions years ago. But I do have a little checklist of things I’d like to get done. We’ll see.
Ed´s last blog ..And Then One of the Acoustic Tiles Just Fell Off of the Wall
Oops. I should have read this earlier. I just made a BIG mistake with my family. Really, sometimes you have to keep lying, because no one wants to admit the truth.
Well, I am very happy to see you back blogging!
Why is it that some people have a problem with just saying what’s on their mind? If your blogging bothers someone in your family (or elsewhere) they should just tell you. Silence gets us nowhere fast.
As for resolutions, I don’t do them simply because I never keep them. Besides, the last thing I need right now is more pressure.
Happy New Year, dear NolaNotes!
Charlotte´s last blog ..My 2009 In Photos
Your resolution to be nicer, especially with family, really hits our core problem here. My husband and I are trying to get both US and the children to speak to one another as if we were speaking to their teachers. I wonder why it is so easy to be rude to those closest to us? Perhaps because they forgive so much easier than a stranger does.
saintseester´s last blog ..My Photo Blog
My husband’s siblings (8 in number) pride themselves on being “blatantly honest” with each other, when all that it seems to an outsider is they are “viciously rude”. Being raised in an overtly repressed Anglo Saxon Canadian household, I am often confused at their motives to take jabs at each other all the time. Your post helped me understand that it might be less intentional and malicious than I presumed.
Being rude is not a problem in my family, it is that stuffing down of deep dark hurts and then letting them explode at some random times. Makes for interesting times, I tell ya.
I find it slightly amusing that family discord has been taken to the 21st century. Maybe I am late on this, but it is a bit odd that family troubles are tossed about through emails and Facebook. Just an observation.
SoMo´s last blog ..Houseguest Beware
Haha, you and I are so similar. I tend to be blunt and direct but then shy and awkward the next. My sarcasm tends to run ahead of me.
Also, welcome back! YAY!