How Much is Enough?
by
We had company over recently. As I was heading out the back of the house with one of our guests, the guest turned to go through Sun’s room to get to the back door. Sun was napping, and so I whispered to my guest not to go that way but for us to use the back door in my bedroom. “Oh,” she said, “I didn’t know you had two back doors. You know, with interest rates being so low right now, it’s the perfect time to buy a bigger house and rent out this little one.” I responded, with no thought, “We don’t want a bigger house.” And the topic was dropped.
Our house is 1,350 square feet. It has two bedrooms, two baths, a big kitchen, a den and a large room used as a study/tv room/playroom. And we have a 200 SF screened-in back porch.
I constantly feel pressure from different places about getting a bigger house. This comment by my guest could have just as easily come from many others in our lives. Harmless, well-intentioned, even. But it bugs me. I feel I am judged by the size of my home, the newness of my car (it’s 11 years old).
But the thing is, the bigger the house, the more STUFF we’ll acquire. And trust me, we don’t need more stuff. We need less! And the 11 year old car? I hate spending money on a car. A total waste in my opinion. I will drive this car until it dies. Like I did my last car.
How come these people that would have me in a bigger house don’t ask about the size of Sun’s 529 Plan? or how much am I contributing to my 401(k)? Because the funny thing is, it’s totally okay to talk about the size of one’s home but not the size of one’s savings.
And it isn’t just money and STUFF that keeps me in my small home. It’s also that carbon footprint we are leaving on Earth. The less, the better. And a bigger home that takes more energy to heat and cool, the more stuff we need to fill the rooms, for what? So we can have a guest bedroom? So that we can have back doors that don’t go through bedrooms?
I know my reasons for the size of my assets. But my questions are, why does it bother me when I am presented with the question posed by my guest? Why do I feel I need to defend my position? Why do I end up feeling like the child I was that wanted to “save the dolphins” by joining Greenpeace and not being understood in the least by those closest to me?
I don’t really see where its anyones business what size your house is. Nor why they should care. Maybe I’m just less nosy than other people. I would point out that while houses are much cheaper now, it isn’t exactly easy to get a loan.
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I love my little house too! Also, I would never be able to move unless all of my stuff magically appeared in the new house, organized and put away. I’ll stay in this house forever just to not have to move the books.
There is this Italian saying, “Only dead fish swim with the flow of the current”. Your lifestyle choice demonstrates that you are alive and well and healthy and swimming against the current. If you were living in practically any other country than the States, the size of your house, the logic of your thinking would be highly commended. It makes plain sense and is the way most people choose to live (or, at least most people I know). And yet, you receive constant innuendos or not-so-subtle criticism for living smart. People are strange folk!
Maybe the reason it bothers you that even though you might not expect people to think the same as you, you’d hope that they would question their ways rather than just criticize yours.
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As someone who moved recently, let me tell you, the STUFF isn’t worth is. I’ve given away more crap because it simply does not fit in this new house. I took six huge garbage bags of clothes to goodwill because of the closet size. That should tell you the amount of stuff we never wore or had outgrown. I tell you, if you love your house, don’t make excuses and don’t feel bad. Sometimes people forget is that it isn’t the size of the house, it’s the size of your heart.
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We’ve actually considered downsizing our house because it would use less energy, and we would have to get rid of some stuff. Unfortunately, I am a pack rat and my attic is being accommodating to that habit.
Some people are ants; others are grasshoppers. Right now, I’m somewhere in the middle, but am trying to be more like the ant.
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I’ve had the same reaction to our small house. It’s about 1100 s.f. 3BR, 1 bath. The 1 bath is annoying sometimes, but not that annoying. We did some remodeling a couple of years ago to make it more livable and we love it. The people that built this house 50 years ago raised 3 children here. Obviously it’s big enough for 2 adults and 2 little dogs.
I’ve gotten pressure from a relative that lives with her husband in a 5000 s.f. (yes, you read that right) waterfront house. The maintenance on it is unbelievable. They’re trying to sell because the upkeep is so difficult, yet she tell me I need a bigger house. It makes my brain hurt.
You don’t have to defend your decisions. As long as you are happy, that’s all that matters. Anyway, your house isn’t tiny, these houses are tiny. http://www.tumbleweedhouses.com/
Because we are judged by what people see and they can’t see your 401K or 529. Also, people just assume that if you are in a small house that you are waiting for more money to get a bigger one. Bigger is better, right?
Hey, with number 3 on the way, people asked us if we were going to get another house, because OMG! you can’t have kids sharing rooms. Like hell I can’t.
I will say that when you go to b-day parties of your child’s classmates that the green eyed monster might pop out at the large homes and inground pools. It fades when you start to think of the debt and upkeep.
However, if you change your mind about that big house I know of a couple for sale on St. Charles Ave. I am sure they are right in your price range.
http://realestate.yahoo.com/Louisiana/New_Orleans/4717-saint-charles-ave:11b6207cb4f4f313541f5dc3b687baa
or
http://realestate.yahoo.com/Louisiana/New_Orleans/5631-saint-charles-ave:e1715720882ba89c9813e5c71517a8
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I mentioned the investment accounts not because I want people to ask about them, but rather to point out that no one would think it polite to inquire about them. But a home is apparently ok. That bugs me.
And, SoMo, I go into larger homes all the time. I rarely have envy over them. Large doesn’t mean better, and often they are of the cookie-cutter variety that I abhor.
You are soooo right! Don’t do it. You will just get more stuff and the big house will seem just as small as the smaller house. And as far as a new car, if it works, it’s fine.
I know, I know. People just can’t believe you wouldn’t think “bigger is better.” I am happy in my house, but if I were looking again, I would go for something smaller. I want to own the house, not have my house own me – and we are almost there.
Either that, or the abandoned church on Prytania for $1,800,000! (thanks for the links to NOLA real estate, SoMo)
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I think your house sounds adorable and perfect.
Granted, I can’t wait until the day I can stop renting apartments and buy a house, but that’s less about gaining space and more about no longer sharing walls with crazy neighbors.
I would kill for a big kitchen and some amount of storage, however. But that just seems normal, I’m going to USE that, you know? Really big houses freak me out because they seem so empty sometimes. And I can’t abide that. Every room should have a purpose and get used daily. Which is why I don’t understand formal dining rooms or living rooms. Totally pointless.
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I’m right there with ya, Nola! We have a pretty small home, 1,400 square feet. 3 bedrooms 1 1/2 baths. 4 people, 2 dogs (used to be 3) and 6 cats. But as you said, we don’t accumulate more “stuff” that we don’t need because we don’t have room for it. When we originally bought this house 12 years ago it was to be our “starter house” and we were planning on buying Bigger! Better! New and Improved! Until we came to our senses and realized that would also mean a bigger mortgage payment, bigger utility payments, more upkeep and less money to travel, pay for kids educations etc. So while our friends are all busy out doing each other with huge McMansions and inground pools and leasing brand new cars every year, we are happy in our comfortable home, that we can afford and our old but paid off cars. I feel like you do, a car payment is like throwing money out the window…I will never buy a brand spankin new car…don’t see the need. Its just a means of transportation, not a reflection on our income or status….
Ignore those who judge you by the size of your house!
Hope to see you again when we come back down, August 1st!
“Stuff” is a mental disorder in America. I know people in the ‘burbs who are neck deep in debt and already throwing out the stuff they haven’t even paid off yet. If that is normal then you can keep it. I’m happy being clutter-free, debt-free and bat-shit insane.
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Hurray for you! You’re wise. Stick to your principles.
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you should stick to your principles. i hate it too. i have an old scooter, an old bike (that is lovely actually), and an old TV, what matters, is who’s behind you on the scooter, who biking with you, and who you watch tv with…