A Quiet Date

by

While in the office yesterday, I remembered my sister was taking Sun for the night.  I had forgotten to give Sun an extra hug.  When I got home yesterday evening, the house was quiet.  Quiet like it just isn’t anymore; quiet the way it used to always be.  It was serene but hollow.

CS and I made reservations for dinner at a restaurant friends had given us a gift certificate for last Christmas.  We were shown to a small table with a white linen tablecloth.  I didn’t even think to look if this place had highchairs.  We ordered a bottle of wine.  And we talked; we talked about politics, the economy, our jobs, our very lives, and, of course, we talked about Sun.  We talked and talked.  Just the two of us, without interruptions to get food to Sun or move things out of her reach or entertain her to keep her from getting too loud and disturbing other diners.  No, it was just us, a couple.  It was decadent, like having my entire body dipped in chocolate.

But I couldn’t help but feel like I was visiting someone else’s life.  Like the life of the friends that gave us the gift certificate, who don’t yet have children.  They, like we used to, go to such restaurants at their leisure.  They don’t give thought to whether it is too quiet a place for a baby or whether the menu will have something a young toddler would eat.  Ah, that freedom!  How I miss it.

Having Sun was the most positive life-changing event of my life.  And I count my blessings every day.  However, there are victims to having a child: quality time alone with your spouse; quietness.

I took great joy in knowing I would not be awoken early this morning by Sun.  But my internal clock went off just the same.  So I groggily lay in bed.  Relishing that I could hear birds chirping.  I haven’t heard the birds in over a year.

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