Because She Lets Me
by
CS gives Sun her baths; that is their special time together. Occasionally, I am called on to do it and find I do it wrong—too little water, the wrong toys, I get water in her eyes.
But getting Sun down for the night, that is our special time. I play no musical instrument; my fingers are not meant to be over piano keys or guitar strings. But in getting Sun down for a nice night’s sleep, she becomes my instrument. I know just when to pat her back as opposed to scratching it. I know instinctively when to sing along with her lullaby music and when it will only work as a distraction to her. I know when to rock, when to dip. I know when to give her my fingers to squeeze. I know when to hug her closer to me and when to release her to herself.
I know Sun’s nighttime habits the way a musician knows the limits of his instrument—when to call its bluff and when to heed its warning to proceed with caution. I know the results I will get from tweaking a movement one way or the other. I know when to come in for an encore and when to walk away and let the artisan’s work be left to play in the memory of the audience.
I know this because Sun and I have developed a routine over these 14+ months. I know this because I am Sun’s mother and it’s my job to know. I know this because I long to know it; I know the days of me strumming my daughter to sleep are limited and I best make the most of the precious time I have of her needing me as a part of her nighttime ritual. And I do and will make best of this sacred time between us. Because that is my choice as her mother.
Indeed. I will hold my son as long as he wants me to. I love it! I will let him hold my hair and suck his thumb for comfort as long as he wants to. I will lay beside my daughter at night until she falls asleep as long as she wants me to. Because that is my job!
mybayouvieux’s last blog post..A little about my boy
SAME HERE! Hubby bathes Mimi, and then I sing her a made up lullabye each night. It’s my special part of the day!
jen’s last blog post..Tell me it ain’t so!
Eactly what leendaluu said, made me smile.
Lovely.
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..Dos & don’ts
i never did get bath time right, i’m like you on that. but where i’ve always been required is as chauffeur. even to this day, the boys would rather me drive them somewhere, and we talk and talk along the way
YatPundit’s last blog post..Hang a Gold Medal in the Arena
That was so sweet!!!
You are one lucky lady!
stacey’s last blog post..Vigilante
Well here I go mimicking Stacey again…..that was sooooo sweet! Beautifully written!
Charlotte’s last blog post..One Man’s Story of Katrina Survival
You blog is such a joy to visit.. I have been reading/catching up and your words are always so beautiful. this indeed was a wonderful post.
Kim’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday – Love
Wow! What a great post. I have the goose bumps and makes me want to slow down my nighttime routine of putting Master P to bed.
You do your job very well! Sun is lucky.
Ed (zoesdad)’s last blog post..I Got Tagged (Part 1)
What a beautiful description of the bond between mother and child–the special things a mother understands about her infant that only she knows, and how mother and baby play rhythm off each other at these times. It brought tears to my eyes. So lovely. Thanks
Sphinx Ink’s last blog post..Yikes! Not another one!
Oh that was so lovely. Miss M (3) likes being sung to sometimes, or her back patted sometimes, or just quiet and calm and closeness sometimes. I love the way you describe how we know what is right as playing an instrument. Perfect. I’m so glad Leendaluu pointed me this way.