Freestyling
by
I am going to try something new here–I am going to write what is in my head right this moment. No previous thought has gone into this post; my thoughts have been all over the place. Here goes.
I had an epiphany this week. Ok, epiphany is a bit strong of a word. I had a realization. A confirmation of a suspicion. An acceptance.
In the hospital two weeks ago, my sister offered to drive to Dallas to allow my husband to return to work ASAP. She’d have had to have driven 8 hours each way; we knew I wasn’t going to be able to drive. Turned out I was sprung early enough that my sister did not have to follow through.
Upon my return, my sister took Sun for 3 days/2 nights. Then another 3 days/2 nights. And Sun was content to be with my sister and her family. I had worried she’d be fussy; she wasn’t in the least.
I knew my sister would make a great aunt. She’s the aunt to six other nieces and nephews just on our side of the family. And I knew my sister would do anything for me, no matter how intrusive or short-noticed.
But.
It’s a completely different thing when someone DOES anything for you than from you KNOWING they would do anything. And it was meaningful to her that I LET her do for me. I tend to do for myself, not ask for help and turn it down when offered. But this surgery brought me to my knees.
My sister and I spent today at the zoo with Sun and my sister’s niece. She wants to start seeing Sun once a week during the summer while she’s off from work.
When I mentioned to my sister once that I was sorry that Sun wouldn’t know our grandmother or the fun childhood memories we had of our fun aunt, she said, “Sun WILL have that. With me.” And she is being true to her word.
My sister and I are close in a sisterly way. We don’t talk every day or gush about every detail of our lives when we do talk. She doesn’t know about this blog, even. But I KNOW there is NOTHING I couldn’t tell her, nothing she wouldn’t support or help me with. Even if she thought I was in the wrong, she’d take me in and hug me.
The boil we had this past weekend didn’t have all of my family, but it did have many of the friends that we consider family, the family you create. And when I think back on the boil—Sun swinging; box fans blowing; the screened porch blocking both sun and rain; family and friends enjoying good food, drink and company—I realize that such event is EXACTLY like the childhood memories I cherish so dearly. (Is that an epiphany?) Except now we are creating these memories for Sun, just as I had hoped we would.
And THAT makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
Or it’s the absinthe I am drinking.
According to the ancients, the body was governed by four humors: blood, yellow bile, black bile and phlegm. If they were out of balance, one humor would prevail and affect your mood accordingly. Yellow bile was associated with the gall bladder and a surplus made one easily angered and bad tempered.
Maybe they were right. Your gall bladder’s removal must have put your humors back in balance.
Pontchartrain Pete’s last blog post..Wow!
Once, when I was lying at death’s door, friends and family drove me to appointments, did my shopping, called at different times of the day, and cooked meals… through their guidance, they literally brought me back to life (and the doctors, of course) . Throughout that time, I ended up having to accept help, ask for help, which was not one of my life’s skills. I am happy that I had that experience, because I learned that it takes strength to receive gestures of love and kindness in concrete form. It is one thing to say, “I know my sister loves me”, it is another thing to let her show it to me without asking for anything in return. By letting your sister give to you (an afternoon off a week), you let her expand Sun’s horizon infinitely.
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I wish I had that with my sister. We have the relationship where, if I needed a kidney, I’m certain she’d give it to me, but she’d also find a way to tell me that I owed her gas money and I looked a little chubbier with the new kidney in place. You know? Like how she made me apologize for leaving my purse in her car at Disneyland, because do you KNOW WHAT COULD’VE HAPPENED?
So anyways, I guess I’m sayingis, I’m jealous. And if this is the sister I’ve met, she’s a pretty cool person and I’m glad Sun has that in her life.
Katie’s last blog post..The Jig, it is up.
Nice.
Just really nice.
Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..A nation coming together…
It is a great feeling to know you have someone in Sun’s life outside of the core parental unit to want to creat such amazing memories for her to reflect on when she gets older..
I am lucky enough to have that in my baby sister too..
Kim’s last blog post..Lessoned Learned
I want to have that kind of relationship with my niece. I won’t be able to as much as I want to however what with them living in Arizona. I have only seen her twice since she has been born, I missed her first birthday because I was too poor to fly there, but at least they will be here in about 5 weeks for about 5 days and I can spoil her the only way an auntie can.
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I wish I had family that lived close by so that my daughter could have those sorts of experiences. Instead, I just do the best I can do with the memories I can help her create, hoping that the ones with aunts, uncles and the rest fall into place in those rare moments we see them.
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Sounds like your relationship with your sister is truly special. That is wonderful she’s giving Sun childhood memories that will surely last a lifetime
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Letting her help you was a big thing for you. I’m not glad you had to, but I am glad you did.
The main reason we moved to NJ was because we didn’t have that in NOLA (only one set of grandparents, no cousins, in town). Having the family near is worth it, even with all the extra anxiety they bring on…
Moondance’s last blog post..Presidential Profile
GIMME THAT ABSINTHE!! RIGHT NOW!! ahem. my sister and i aren’t very close. we know we have each others’ backs but we are definitely the bickering type. i like to keep our interaction to a few days at a time, several months apart.
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AH! I’m so behind! My sister and I aren’t close at all, despite being only 2 years apart. Something happened when I went to HS and we never returned back to being friends. So I think it’s really awesome that you’re close with yours! I really want to write more, but this Italian keyboard is doing me no favors.
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I found you by way of Christy at Confessions of a Misplaced Southern Belle. She said that if I read your blog, I would want to go to Louisanna. She was right, though, only if YOU would show me around your town. You are a lucky girl to have that relationship with your sister. Sun is also lucky to have her.
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Ugh. That wasn’t freestyle. Sounded like a normal Nolanotes post to me. He he! Just jabbin’ at ya!
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