I am going to try something new here–I am going to write what is in my head right this moment. No previous thought has gone into this post; my thoughts have been all over the place. Here goes.
I had an epiphany this week. Ok, epiphany is a bit strong of a word. I had a realization. A confirmation of a suspicion. An acceptance.
In the hospital two weeks ago, my sister offered to drive to Dallas to allow my husband to return to work ASAP. She’d have had to have driven 8 hours each way; we knew I wasn’t going to be able to drive. Turned out I was sprung early enough that my sister did not have to follow through.
Upon my return, my sister took Sun for 3 days/2 nights. Then another 3 days/2 nights. And Sun was content to be with my sister and her family. I had worried she’d be fussy; she wasn’t in the least.
I knew my sister would make a great aunt. She’s the aunt to six other nieces and nephews just on our side of the family. And I knew my sister would do anything for me, no matter how intrusive or short-noticed.
It’s a completely different thing when someone DOES anything for you than from you KNOWING they would do anything. And it was meaningful to her that I LET her do for me. I tend to do for myself, not ask for help and turn it down when offered. But this surgery brought me to my knees.
My sister and I spent today at the zoo with Sun and my sister’s niece. She wants to start seeing Sun once a week during the summer while she’s off from work.
When I mentioned to my sister once that I was sorry that Sun wouldn’t know our grandmother or the fun childhood memories we had of our fun aunt, she said, “Sun WILL have that. With me.” And she is being true to her word.
My sister and I are close in a sisterly way. We don’t talk every day or gush about every detail of our lives when we do talk. She doesn’t know about this blog, even. But I KNOW there is NOTHING I couldn’t tell her, nothing she wouldn’t support or help me with. Even if she thought I was in the wrong, she’d take me in and hug me.
The boil we had this past weekend didn’t have all of my family, but it did have many of the friends that we consider family, the family you create. And when I think back on the boil—Sun swinging; box fans blowing; the screened porch blocking both sun and rain; family and friends enjoying good food, drink and company—I realize that such event is EXACTLY like the childhood memories I cherish so dearly. (Is that an epiphany?) Except now we are creating these memories for Sun, just as I had hoped we would.
And THAT makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
Or it’s the absinthe I am drinking.