Comments on: My Identity Crisis http://www.nolanotes.com/2008/05/12/my-identity-crisis/ Wed, 19 Nov 2008 17:40:03 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 By: Sandy (Momisodes) http://www.nolanotes.com/2008/05/12/my-identity-crisis/#comment-2489 Sandy (Momisodes) Wed, 14 May 2008 06:25:26 +0000 http://www.nolanotes.com/?p=403#comment-2489 I share this same struggle. I just left a job yesterday, and I'm already struggling with if I should find another one and pursue more with my degree, or wait.... I wish I had advice to share... sorry, I suck. <em>Sandy (Momisodes)'s last blog post..<a href='http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/Momisodes/~3/289776571/' rel="nofollow">Unemployment? Not Really….</a></em> I share this same struggle. I just left a job yesterday, and I’m already struggling with if I should find another one and pursue more with my degree, or wait…. I wish I had advice to share… sorry, I suck.

Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..Unemployment? Not Really….

]]> By: Karen http://www.nolanotes.com/2008/05/12/my-identity-crisis/#comment-2488 Karen Wed, 14 May 2008 04:03:07 +0000 http://www.nolanotes.com/?p=403#comment-2488 3 years ago I was diagnosed with Cancer. I remember sitting on my sofa terrified, not sure if death was right around the corner. At the time my daughter was 14 and all I could think of is how screwed up she would be if I checked out. And then I had a little epiphany, I realized that I had no regrets, and I felt like the luckiest person in the world. And then I found out that my cancer had not spread and I was going to have a really shitty year ahead of me with chemo and all , but I was going to continue to live. Now my daughter is getting ready for college, I just had my mammogram CLEAN! and still no regrets, not even the cancer part. So my advice, which is worthless and fleeting is make sure you have no regrets, and love your life. <em>Karen's last blog post..<a href='http://www.squanderedheritage.com/2008/05/04/iht-3/' rel="nofollow">IHT</a></em> 3 years ago I was diagnosed with Cancer. I remember sitting on my sofa terrified, not sure if death was right around the corner. At the time my daughter was 14 and all I could think of is how screwed up she would be if I checked out. And then I had a little epiphany, I realized that I had no regrets, and I felt like the luckiest person in the world. And then I found out that my cancer had not spread and I was going to have a really shitty year ahead of me with chemo and all , but I was going to continue to live.

Now my daughter is getting ready for college, I just had my mammogram CLEAN! and still no regrets, not even the cancer part.

So my advice, which is worthless and fleeting is make sure you have no regrets, and love your life.

Karen’s last blog post..IHT

]]> By: Mishel http://www.nolanotes.com/2008/05/12/my-identity-crisis/#comment-2487 Mishel Wed, 14 May 2008 03:48:32 +0000 http://www.nolanotes.com/?p=403#comment-2487 I say happiness is in your child. Happiness for me is watching my son's face light up when I walk into his room in the morning after he wakes up; happiness is holding him after he's fallen asleep (whether it's for a nap or his bedtime); happiness is him running and playing and laughing; happiness is him looking at me with that beautiful, handsome, face of his and smiling at me like I'm the best mommy in the world. And yes, I do think that if you have everything that you could ever want then it's okay to be happy. While I do want to go to work again one day I'm enjoying myself so much raising my son and being a SAHM to him, and more children one day, that I'm learning myself that it's okay to be happy doing that and not working while other people my age are or that other friends are. I say happiness is in your child. Happiness for me is watching my son’s face light up when I walk into his room in the morning after he wakes up; happiness is holding him after he’s fallen asleep (whether it’s for a nap or his bedtime); happiness is him running and playing and laughing; happiness is him looking at me with that beautiful, handsome, face of his and smiling at me like I’m the best mommy in the world. And yes, I do think that if you have everything that you could ever want then it’s okay to be happy. While I do want to go to work again one day I’m enjoying myself so much raising my son and being a SAHM to him, and more children one day, that I’m learning myself that it’s okay to be happy doing that and not working while other people my age are or that other friends are.

]]> By: Katie http://www.nolanotes.com/2008/05/12/my-identity-crisis/#comment-2486 Katie Wed, 14 May 2008 01:37:51 +0000 http://www.nolanotes.com/?p=403#comment-2486 I had a day today where I felt a lot like what you've described. I guess I have the benefit of knowing how I really feel about my job (I hate it), but also just having general doubts about things. Wondering what happiness is and how to find it, keep it and never run out of it. I think it's something we'll all strive for indefinitely because it's not real. I think it's some ideal that doesn't really exist, it's just an idea out there, just lingering to torment us forever. If nothing else, know that you're not alone. Hell, I think you might even be normal. <em>Katie's last blog post..<a href='http://overflowingbrain.blogspot.com/2008/05/silver-lining.html' rel="nofollow">Silver Lining</a></em> I had a day today where I felt a lot like what you’ve described. I guess I have the benefit of knowing how I really feel about my job (I hate it), but also just having general doubts about things. Wondering what happiness is and how to find it, keep it and never run out of it.

I think it’s something we’ll all strive for indefinitely because it’s not real. I think it’s some ideal that doesn’t really exist, it’s just an idea out there, just lingering to torment us forever.

If nothing else, know that you’re not alone. Hell, I think you might even be normal.

Katie’s last blog post..Silver Lining

]]> By: leendaluu http://www.nolanotes.com/2008/05/12/my-identity-crisis/#comment-2485 leendaluu Wed, 14 May 2008 00:37:19 +0000 http://www.nolanotes.com/?p=403#comment-2485 I've been in the workforce for 23 years and have had two 'generations' of children. And with each birth, I have the same wonders and dilemmas. Career or job. I was hell bent on career with A and G but am just happy to have a job with the twins. With a job (rather than career), I can take off to go to school activities, coach softball, be a room mom--things I never did with the first pair. Yes, I make much less money than I would as a partner in a practice but having experienced this on both sides, less is more. And you CAN become a research librarian if that is what you want. And all of us would cheer you on because it's not 'quitting', it's following your dream. I’ve been in the workforce for 23 years and have had two ‘generations’ of children. And with each birth, I have the same wonders and dilemmas. Career or job. I was hell bent on career with A and G but am just happy to have a job with the twins. With a job (rather than career), I can take off to go to school activities, coach softball, be a room mom–things I never did with the first pair. Yes, I make much less money than I would as a partner in a practice but having experienced this on both sides, less is more. And you CAN become a research librarian if that is what you want. And all of us would cheer you on because it’s not ‘quitting’, it’s following your dream.

]]> By: Charlotte http://www.nolanotes.com/2008/05/12/my-identity-crisis/#comment-2484 Charlotte Tue, 13 May 2008 22:08:24 +0000 http://www.nolanotes.com/?p=403#comment-2484 As far as we know, we have one life. Think about what makes you happy and fulfilled. Think about what's *really* important. Concentrate on those things and fit in the rest. I know, easier said than done but life is all about adjusting, redefining and striving. Remember that nothing is written in stone. It's YOUR life. :) <em>Charlotte's last blog post..<a href='http://charleyana.wordpress.com/2008/05/11/in-mammanems-garden-on-mothers-day/' rel="nofollow">In Mamma’n'ems Garden On Mother’s Day</a></em> As far as we know, we have one life. Think about what makes you happy and fulfilled. Think about what’s *really* important. Concentrate on those things and fit in the rest. I know, easier said than done but life is all about adjusting, redefining and striving. Remember that nothing is written in stone. It’s YOUR life. :)
Charlotte’s last blog post..In Mamma’n’ems Garden On Mother’s Day

]]> By: Nette http://www.nolanotes.com/2008/05/12/my-identity-crisis/#comment-2483 Nette Tue, 13 May 2008 18:52:49 +0000 http://www.nolanotes.com/?p=403#comment-2483 I feel the same way. It is impossible for us to be career driven women without our big ole bag of mommy guilt to carry around on our backs. I feel the same way. It is impossible for us to be career driven women without our big ole bag of mommy guilt to carry around on our backs.

]]> By: Xbox4NappyRash http://www.nolanotes.com/2008/05/12/my-identity-crisis/#comment-2482 Xbox4NappyRash Tue, 13 May 2008 18:12:17 +0000 http://www.nolanotes.com/?p=403#comment-2482 Oh the common threads of life. I've constantly battled against my indifference to my career in order to have a life that I am happy with. Then times roll around when I'm angry for not pushing my career enough. All I can say is I'm not unhappy I didn't. I wouldn't have all I have now, as much I take it for granted and crave even more, if I had done. <em>Xbox4NappyRash's last blog post..<a href='http://xbox4nappyrash.blogspot.com/2008/05/i-said-nappy-dammit.html' rel="nofollow">I said 'Nappy', dammit</a></em> Oh the common threads of life.

I’ve constantly battled against my indifference to my career in order to have a life that I am happy with.
Then times roll around when I’m angry for not pushing my career enough.
All I can say is I’m not unhappy I didn’t.
I wouldn’t have all I have now, as much I take it for granted and crave even more, if I had done.

Xbox4NappyRash’s last blog post..I said ‘Nappy’, dammit

]]> By: Sphinx Ink http://www.nolanotes.com/2008/05/12/my-identity-crisis/#comment-2481 Sphinx Ink Tue, 13 May 2008 17:57:59 +0000 http://www.nolanotes.com/?p=403#comment-2481 Ah. The Divided Mind Syndrome. I know whereof you speak. Twenty-six years ago, as a single mother with a five-month-old baby, I decided to shift my legal career from advancement-to-partner status back into the entry-level-but-time-for-family job in which I'd started out after law school. It would have been impossible to deal with the 60- to 70-hour workweeks of a busy law practice, including trials that often run late into the evenings, while caring for a child. My life since then hasn't been easy in some respects, but I've never regretted choosing the job that let me spend more time with my child. Yes, when I see the TV ads for a couple of my law-school classmates, who must pull in at least a million a year in their highly successful PI law practices, I feel inadequate knowing my salary is a tiny fraction of what they earn, and in fact is less than many new lawyers out of school now receive as a starting salary. But I love not having to go to the office on weekends and holidays, I loved being able to attend my child's school events and recitals without having to endure the stinkeye from a senior partner, and I love the serenity that comes from doing a job I enjoy, at a pace that lets me enjoy life. Nola, you may always feel that "divided mind" thing...but you've made the right choice. The time you spend with Sun is far more important to her than the extra dollars you would earn if you went back to full-time practice. Cuddle your daughter, kiss your hubby, square your jaw, and forge ahead. Continue to recognize how lucky you are to have had the choice to make. <em>Sphinx Ink's last blog post..<a href='http://sphinxink.blogspot.com/2008/05/more-book-awards-nominees.html' rel="nofollow">More Book Awards & Nominees</a></em> Ah. The Divided Mind Syndrome. I know whereof you speak. Twenty-six years ago, as a single mother with a five-month-old baby, I decided to shift my legal career from advancement-to-partner status back into the entry-level-but-time-for-family job in which I’d started out after law school. It would have been impossible to deal with the 60- to 70-hour workweeks of a busy law practice, including trials that often run late into the evenings, while caring for a child. My life since then hasn’t been easy in some respects, but I’ve never regretted choosing the job that let me spend more time with my child.

Yes, when I see the TV ads for a couple of my law-school classmates, who must pull in at least a million a year in their highly successful PI law practices, I feel inadequate knowing my salary is a tiny fraction of what they earn, and in fact is less than many new lawyers out of school now receive as a starting salary.

But I love not having to go to the office on weekends and holidays, I loved being able to attend my child’s school events and recitals without having to endure the stinkeye from a senior partner, and I love the serenity that comes from doing a job I enjoy, at a pace that lets me enjoy life.

Nola, you may always feel that “divided mind” thing…but you’ve made the right choice. The time you spend with Sun is far more important to her than the extra dollars you would earn if you went back to full-time practice. Cuddle your daughter, kiss your hubby, square your jaw, and forge ahead. Continue to recognize how lucky you are to have had the choice to make.

Sphinx Ink’s last blog post..More Book Awards & Nominees

]]> By: Daisy Duke http://www.nolanotes.com/2008/05/12/my-identity-crisis/#comment-2480 Daisy Duke Tue, 13 May 2008 16:06:00 +0000 http://www.nolanotes.com/?p=403#comment-2480 I'm with you on this conundrum. <em>Daisy Duke's last blog post..<a href='http://legallyblondeambition.blogspot.com/2008/05/it-confuses-me.html' rel="nofollow">It Confuses Me</a></em> I’m with you on this conundrum.

Daisy Duke’s last blog post..It Confuses Me

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