Westward, Ho. Sort of.
Apr 10th, 2008 by Nola
Yesterday evening, I needed to go across the river (that’s the Mississippi River) to meet several clients at several locations. Two of the locations, I’d been to before, a third was new to me.
“Across the river” is what we eastbankers refer to every city on the “westbank.” I put quotes around the word westbank because to cross the river on the interstate (this bridge is called the Crescent City Connection, the Greater New Orleans Bridge, or the GNO for short) is to go not west but south. Color my youth much confused with directions! In most cities, you give directions by saying things like, “Go south for two blocks then turn west.” In NOLA, God knows where you will end up with such directions. You need to instead say things like, “Downtown (or uptown) side, towards (or away from) the river.” The Mississippi River just snakes throughout the NOLA area, thus the reason NOLA is called the Crescent City–the river shapes the city in a “C.”
And Across the River, there is one major thoroughfare, the Westbank Expressway. Thankfully, they built most of it raised so you can see it from afar. Because, holy hell, things get confusing for us eastbankers on the westbank.
My first two stops were in an area I was familiar with–near the Jefferson Parish Court House (a place all NOLA attorneys should know) and a great little Cuban restaurant I really like. I have seen this sign before but finally stopped to get its pic:
I do love me some neon signs! And this one still lights up! In taking this picture, I learned that they have turned this place into a restaurant. I saw two men carrying a big tray of smoked or barbecued chickens into the restaurant from their outdoor cooker. Those chickens looked pretty good, and the traffic at this little place was heavy. Note to self: return for dinner soon. Apparently, they also sell snowballs out of a little trailer:
Except I am reluctant to eat anything called “Wabbit Balls.”
After the second stop, I had to travel deep into the westbank and go to Harvey, Louisiana. The client had given me directions, including going through the Harvey Tunnel. I had Yahoo-mapped directions, and they did not advise going through the tunnel, but these directions were equally as confusing.
With the help of YatPundit and SoMo, I made it to my final location (without taking the tunnel). And alls I can say is that I truly had no idea where I was. Didn’t know if I was heading north, south, east or west. Couldn’t really hazard a guess as to the direction of the Wesbank Expressway. At least if I can get to the Expressway, I can get back to the eastbank.
But I stayed with the directions I was given and did just fine. Upon leaving my final destination, my client gave me a shortcut to get to the Westbank Expressway. And I found it in no time. But again, I had no bearing on where I was. It was really disconcerting. See, that Expressway, like the river, snakes along. It isn’t a straight path, and so it can be due east at some points and due south (or west or north) at others.
Anywho, once getting to the Expressway, I called SoMo to bring me in to the Huey P. Long Bridge (we were meeting for dinner on the eastbank but nearer to the Huey P. than the GNO). She gave spot on directions, and without them I promise you I would have gone WAY out of my way to end up returning via the GNO.
I couldn’t help but think while I was over there (for a total of an hour and a half) that I was in some time/space vortex. It is so close yet a complete other universe.
Ah, adventures to the Wank. I try my best to never go over there, but I have friends there so sometimes, we must compromise. Over Christmas, I went over there to get cheap sparklers for my best friend’s wedding ($5 for 60!). Total time in the West Bank: 5 minutes. We always joke about paying to leave (or re-enter civilization).
Tell me more about the Cuban restaurant
Dude, the Westbank is the Bestbank. All the nooks and crannies of the French Quarter, but you want to know about the true Yats, Cajun boys, get great seafood or find those out of the way good spots to eat come on over to the Westbank.
I am so surprised that so many people live in and around the city, but don’t take full advantage. I have lived on the Westbank for most of my life and I travel all over. Don’t be skeered of da Westbank.
How funny! Everything here in Ohio looks the same. I can be 100 miles away, and still find my way around!
When Obi Wan said, “You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy,” he was really talking about Westwego.
And growing up in Algiers, we referred to Waggaman as “the city of seven smells.”
Goodness! Just reading about it convinces me that I would be totally directionally challenged there. Not sure eager I would be to eat Wabbit Balls either
I’m not as excited about the west bank as SoMo, but yeah, it’s cool.
Da Wabbit! that’s a neat place!
I think it’s absolutely hilarious how (alot of) eastbankers have a problem with crossing the bridge. I truly don’t get it. Do they get weak-kneed crossing the twinspan? or the causeway?
I love living in Algiers – it’s the atmosphere (and low crime rate) of a small town but a quick hop over the bridge and you’re downtown, uptown or in the French Quarter. Now the rest of the WB? Ummm…..I can get you to Oakwood Mall (where I never shop) and to my JP friend’s houses but that’s about it.
Oh, you were on the Wank? (that nickname kills me).
I’ve only made it over the river 4 times in the almost 2 years I’ve lived here. Twice for doctors appointments, once for a wedding and once for a sporting event. We got lost every single time and rear-ended once.
I’m not a big fan of the Wank. It just confuses the hell out of me.
You just made me feel a lot better for all my “getting lost” excursions. It is confuscing – scratching head. As for rabbit balls – pass!
All ribbing aside, I had some relatives who would not drive across the bridge to come visit when we lived in Algiers (which, although on the Westbank, is still part of the City of New Orleans). They were just elderly and scared.
But the one that struck me most was a young African-American I worked with. He asked me where I lived, I said Algiers, and that was a gap of Biblical proportions for him. He told me “I won’t ever cross the waters.”
Where can I buy a neon sign of Bugs Bunny, my all time favorite smart ass cartoon character?
Bunny balls? Not appetizing.
Interesting post.
Don’t get me started on the Huey P. I think the CIA uses it on detainees in Guantanamo Bay to scare information out of them!
All I know about directions is ‘turn that way’ is left, or ‘turn there’ is right. I think I would get seriously lost in NOLA>
Haha – when I moved to CA, I heard directions given with compass directions for the first time in my life (go west on Ventura blvd, then north on…). It is futile to give compass driving instructions in Boston as well, so the first time someone said “north on…” I really thought they were joking.
Ha! I come from the north east and also moved to CA for a brief stint. Never heard compass driving directions given here but often did in CA. I was always so confused. Needed to keep telling myself that “go west and you head towards the ocean-you’re on the left coast now”..Love the neon sign and…what in the name of all things holy are ‘wabbit balls’??? Maybe i dion’t wanna know…Sure glad you made it there and back.:)
I don’t know anything about the area, but my dad did own a restaurant with a neon sign, “Hotdogs.” At that time they were 5 for $1.00. How I wish I would have hung onto that sign–it kind of sums up my life.
One time when I was in band camp . . .
I mean, one time when I lived in WV someone gave me directions like this: “Go up the first mountain. When you are mid-mountain, look for this wood fence on the left with a large gate. If you get to the second mountain you went too far.”
Damn if I could tell one mountain from another. Once you are up you just go up and down.
I got so damn lost the first time I went to the westbank and I had Google Map directions. I am usually pretty good with maps, but not over there!
As a born & raised resident of Gretna (live in Atlanta, GA now), I find your post humorous, but sadly, so true to the stereotype many have of the Bestbank. While I was a student at Brother Martin, I had classmates ask me where I lived. When I told them the Westbank, they asked if it was true that I had to park at the foot of the bridge and take a mud boat to my house. Apparently their perception of the Westbank was that it was pretty much all like Lafitte, but without the single paved road.
The Westbank is hardly a mystery, and Harvey is not even close to being “deep” in the Westbank. Any city or town that is adjacent to the Expressway, is not deep. You want deep, try Grand Isle, Buras, or Venice. Hell, I woudl even go so far as to say that Jesuit Bend (just past Belle Chase) is “deep”.
Like SoMo said, people claim to know & love New Orleans, but they have never even been to the Westbank to take in some of the best parts of the city.