Westward, Ho. Sort of.

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Yesterday evening, I needed to go across the river (that’s the Mississippi River) to meet several clients at several locations.  Two of the locations, I’d been to before, a third was new to me.

“Across the river” is what we eastbankers refer to every city on the “westbank.”  I put quotes around the word westbank because to cross the river on the interstate (this bridge is called the Crescent City Connection, the Greater New Orleans Bridge, or the GNO for short) is to go not west but south.  Color my youth much confused with directions!  In most cities, you give directions by saying things like, “Go south for two blocks then turn west.”  In NOLA, God knows where you will end up with such directions.  You need to instead say things like, “Downtown (or uptown) side, towards (or away from) the river.”  The Mississippi River just snakes throughout the NOLA area, thus the reason NOLA is called the Crescent City–the river shapes the city in a “C.”

And Across the River, there is one major thoroughfare, the Westbank Expressway.  Thankfully, they built most of it raised so you can see it from afar.  Because, holy hell, things get confusing for us eastbankers on the westbank.

My first two stops were in an area I was familiar with–near the Jefferson Parish Court House (a place all NOLA attorneys should know) and a great little Cuban restaurant I really like.  I have seen this sign before but finally stopped to get its pic:

I do love me some neon signs!  And this one still lights up!  In taking this picture, I learned that they have turned this place into a restaurant.  I saw two men carrying a big tray of smoked or barbecued chickens into the restaurant from their outdoor cooker.  Those chickens looked pretty good, and the traffic at this little place was heavy.  Note to self: return for dinner soon.  Apparently, they also sell snowballs out of a little trailer:

Except I am reluctant to eat anything called “Wabbit Balls.”

After the second stop, I had to travel deep into the westbank and go to Harvey, Louisiana.  The client had given me directions, including going through the Harvey Tunnel.  I had Yahoo-mapped directions, and they did not advise going through the tunnel, but these directions were equally as confusing.

With the help of YatPundit and SoMo, I made it to my final location (without taking the tunnel).  And alls I can say is that I truly had no idea where I was.  Didn’t know if I was heading north, south, east or west.  Couldn’t really hazard a guess as to the direction of the Wesbank Expressway.  At least if I can get to the Expressway, I can get back to the eastbank.

But I stayed with the directions I was given and did just fine.  Upon leaving my final destination, my client gave me a shortcut to get to the Westbank Expressway.  And I found it in no time.  But again, I had no bearing on where I was.  It was really disconcerting.  See, that Expressway, like the river, snakes along. It isn’t a straight path, and so it can be due east at some points and due south (or west or north) at others.

Anywho, once getting to the Expressway, I called SoMo to bring me in to the Huey P. Long Bridge (we were meeting for dinner on the eastbank but nearer to the Huey P. than the GNO).  She gave spot on directions, and without them I promise you I would have gone WAY out of my way to end up returning via the GNO.

I couldn’t help but think while I was over there (for a total of an hour and a half) that I was in some time/space vortex.  It is so close yet a complete other universe.

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