I have recently been writing about my time as a patient of Dr. Socks. Tomorrow’s post will likely be the last post dedicated to him.

I knew the chance of my running into him at my local yarn shop sooner or later was high. I hadn’t given much thought, however, to what I’d say to him when that day actually came.

Today, I’d tell him this:

Dr. Socks, I think you are a good gynecologist. However, you are not a fertility specialist. And you did me quite the disservice by not sending me to a specialist straight away. You should not have performed any test on me for which you needed the expertise of another doctor to interpret the results.

You relied on the radiologist’s results of my hysterosalpingogram. You admitted to me that you never looked at the HSG films yourself. You based your diagnosis of a very serious condition on that film without setting your own eyes on it because you told me you trusted the radiologist to know what he saw. Radiologists aren’t fertility specialists either. You should have had a fertility specialist look at those films before you gave me the results. Or better, you should have had a fertility specialist run the appropriate tests and not you. You should have had enough confidence in your own practice to know what you didn’t know.

But, Dr. Socks, I forgive you. Because you taught me to trust my own medical instincts. My broken wrist taught me to get a second medical opinion. You taught me that doctors won’t tell you when they are in over their heads. You taught me to be more assertive about my medical care; to question; to follow my gut and KNOW when to seek another’s professional advise. You taught me that I cannot rely on my doctor to refer me away, that I must be hyper-diligent about my own medical treatment.

And best of all, Dr. Socks, your being wrong was the best mistake for me. It FINALLY got me to the specialist that could get me pregnant with my daughter. But still, in the future, tell your patients that there is a place for fertility specialists; that women shouldn’t be reluctant to seek expert advise about an area of medicine that is highly technical and very specialized; that there is no shame in having a fertility problem. And remember, first, do your patient no harm, and that includes giving medical care beyond your expertise.

What did I actually say to him? I’ll post that tomorrow.