I Need a Drink
Nov 28th, 2007 by Nola
A horse walks into a bar. Bartender asks, “Why the long face?”
A duck walks into a bar. He orders a martini and tells the bartender, “Please put that on my bill.”
A guy walks into a bar. The next guy ducks.
I confess. After 28 days (28!), I’ve got nothing for NoBloPoMo. So I am telling you jokes. My favorite kind–clean and corny. Here’s my favorite:
Guy walks into a bar. There is no one there but the bartender, who is cleaning glasses. Guy sits down and orders a beer. As he’s drinking his beer, he hears, “Nice shoes.” He looks around and sees no one but the bartender wiping bar glasses with his towel. Guy ignores voice and takes another sip of his drink. Then guy hears, “Awesome hair.” He shoots around and sees no one. Embarrassed, he continues to ignore it. Then he hears, “Snappy suit!” That did it. He can no longer ignore it. Reluctantly, he calls the bartender over and shyly asks, “Eh, I hate to bother you but did you hear someone talking? ” The bartender responds, “Oh, it’s the nuts; they’re complimentary.”
So what’s your favorite guy-walks-into-a-bar joke?
Stumble it!
unfortunately, i don’t have any good guy-walks-into-a-bar jokes to share. but what is it about the 28th day of nablopomo? i hit a wall too, and resorted to quoting will ferrell…
A mushroom walks into a bar. Bartender says. “Hey, we don’t serve your kind in here!”
Mushroom says, “Why not? I’m a fun guy.”
Pete, love it! Do you have more??
Yes, but they’re racist and/or sexist so we’ll skip for now.
Not a bar joke, but same vein: Guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office. He says, “Doc, I think I might be going crazy. One night I dream I’m a teepee and the next night a wigwam.”
Doctor says, “I know what the problem is. You’re too tense.”
Horse walks into a bar. Ouch! Ha-ha!! OMG! I am smiling at this joke and any other time would be laughing out loud b/c my hubby would look at me like I lost my damn mind:) P/S: My brother, who just left for Iraq (please say prayers or send well wishes as he’ll be there for at least 15 months) and I both love those kinds of jokes AND the first one you wrote down is a favorite (sp?) of ours. Thanks for the jokes! P/P/S: Hope all is well w/Sun.
Pete, keep ‘em coming!
Mishel, I will keep your brother in my prayers. So scary! Sun seems to be doing well–other than a mean diaper rash from that colossal poop yesterday
Here’s some for the yogis out there:
A yogi goes to a baseball game and orders a hot dog. He tells the vendor, “Make me one with everything.”
To continue, the vendor gives him the hot dog and says, “That’ll be $2.” The yogi hands him a five and the vendor starts to walk away. The yogi shouts, “Hey! Where’s my change?” The vendor responds, “Change must come from within.”
And finally, how many Iyengar yogis does it take to change a light bulb? One, but he’ll need a mat, two blocks, three blankets, a chair, and a strap.
I’ve got another joke that I love about penguins. Wanna hear it, too?