A Resolution
Jul 6th, 2007 by admin
I spent the day exploring the shadows in the corners of this post I wrote in the wee hours of the morning after a pumping session. I can even say that I wallowed a bit. I really let me feel sorry for myself. And then four things happened:
1. Southern Mom called to check on me. Reassuring me yet again that I am not alone and she’s been where I am before and that it gets better.
2. I got an e-mail from work letting me know the lock I had requested be installed to my door was done. I am now free to pump in private at the office.
3. My husband, not having read the post, suggested I go to dinner with a friend and leave Sun and him at home. I didn’t take him up on his offer. I walked Lucy instead. Then I went to dinner with my family and SM’s family.
4. My friend, Moondance, reached out to me in that personal way that one person’s blog can do. Her post was a shoulder to lean on for me to read at my convenience; it was a respite, an oasis, an echo of the concern of SM and the support of my husband.
With all these things happening today, I have made a resolution. I haven’t decided yet where things will end with this nursing/pumping situation I currently have on my hands. But I have resolved to stop bitching and complaining about it all–it’s just negative energy that will end only one way–in me giving up. And if I am to give myself a fair shake at not giving up, I need to be more positive about it. So no more blogs about my breasts. Sorry, CS.
I will be on the look-out for depression so that I can do my best not to get side-swiped by it again, and when it does hit, I will face it head on. And if it is PPD, I will get the help I need to properly deal with it. Squirmy little Sun will never be this squirmy or little ever again for the rest of her life. And I owe it to myself to suck every drop of enjoyment out if it that I can. And these breast wars will no longer steal this joy from me.
At least, this is what I resolve.
I owe special thanks to Southern Mom, Moondance, and Captain Sarcastic. It’s nice to have nets in place of which I am unaware to catch me on days like these.
Stumble it!
I hope you don’t discontinue nursing quite yet, but whenever you choose to do so, that will be the right time.
I am glad you are contemplating the power of positive thinking, but there is also a use for the negative expression. Hey, that’s what a blog is for - to explore those dark corners, and in bringing them into the light, see them lose their power. You may never know it, but you may help another person facing the same thing (nursing, returning to work, PPD, projecting superpowers onto her husband, or just thinking of hard challenges she is facing) and she will not feel so alone or helpless.