Captain Sarcastic returned to JazzFest for his fifth day today. This resulted in me holding down the fort at our small business. This is really enjoyable to me and I had no complaints. Although I DID forget this rather large obligation when I made a hair appointment earlier this week. So, okay, sue me; I had to leave the business for a couple of hours. Yes, the haircut only took about an hour, but nearby was the dry cleaner and knitting store and it just made sense to run all my errands once I was out in the area anyway.

Toward the end of the day, CS called to check in. He always teases one of our employees as he leaves him alone not to burn the place down. So when CS called, we (instigated by me) told him that there had been a small electrical fire. “Was there damage?” CS asked. “Well, yes; there was smoke, then sparks. So we called the Fire Department. They showed up and they didn’t use water but that white foam stuff to put it out. The carpet’s messed up and whatnot.” Nice and vague, I thought, he’ll never believe me! “Well, I am leaving JazzFest anyway and will be over soon,” he replied. I had fully intended to tell him I was teasing before we hung up, but he sounded so unconcerned that I thought either he knew I was lying or he truly was not too concerned.

CS soon showed up and was a tad more concerned than he sounded on the phone. I was certain now that he had believed me. So to keep it going, I sent him upstairs to assess the damage. When he realized he’d been had, he was mad at me! I mean as in employees- excusing-themselves-from-our-presence mad. My chuckling and saying “C’mon!” (ala Earl Hickey) didn’t seem to help.

So I did the right thing and apologized. And I was sincere. Really, I was. But he was still mad. I made the mistake of asking if he wanted a public apology (which in truth I had just given him). He responded, “Yes! And I want you to blog it!”

So here goes:

Dear, sweet CS, I am sorry the business was not burned as I said it had been. It is not nice to lie.

No, wait. That’s not what I mean. Let me try again.

Dear CS: maybe if you trusted us better NOT to burn the business down while you were off gallivanting without your pregnant wife, you’d have questioned further about this “fire.” I mean, did you even smell anything when you walked in? No; you did not.

No; that’s not it either. Hmmm. This is harder than I thought it’d be. Let me give it one last stab:

Dude, sorry. We meant no harm. Oh, and by the way, enjoy your evening out with your friend in from out of town for his bachelor party. I’ll be in bed waiting for you. Love, Nola.