CS and I have dinner once a week with another couple. A few weeks back, while at dinner with these friends, the Missus revealed that her husband (Evil Little Man) does not like Ben & Jerry’s. He finds the cost of their ice cream highly offensive.

So tonight as we were finishing dinner, Evil Little Man suggested Ben & Jerry’s. I was all over that. With my stomach still bothering me, ice cream really does help settle it (or so I tell myself). The Missus was in absolute shock. “NOW you want Ben & Jerry’s? Now that I am on a diet and ACTUALLY losing weight?” “Sure,” ELM replies, “I did well at the casino last night.” Apparently winning on the cards eases the pain of high-priced ice cream.

So we headed over to Ben & Jerry’s. Evil Little Man asked the Missus, “So, what are you going to get?” “Nothing,” she replied. God bless her–she has the willpower of a saint. ELM nudged on, “You can get yogurt.” “I don’t want anything,” she persevered. “Sorbet?” ELM asked. “No; really. Please. I don’t want anything,” the Missus was now begging. “I’ll just order you a cup and you can eat what you want and throw the rest away,” ELM insisted. The Missus was now beside herself: “Are you serious? Until this evening, you thought they were stealing from you selling their ice creams at their costs. Now you want to buy something for me to take A FEW SPOONS OF and THROW AWAY? What is WRONG with you?”

He ordered her the cup. She ate two spoonfuls and threw the rest away.

As we were enjoying our treats, Evil Little Man then blamed the Missus for him sleeping on the sofa last night. Wha?? ELM bellowed, “She didn’t wake me up to come to bed!” I asked, “And that’s her fault?” “YES,” ELM exclaimed, “she always comes and gets me. She wanted my side of the bed for herself.” Score one for the Missus; clever little thing, she is!!! Then he blamed her for him waking up to MTV. “How is she to blame for what YOU went to sleep watching?” I asked. He resorted to his previous argument that she always keeps him from sleeping in the den and having the TV on all night.

And I haven’t even touched on the snoring and finickiness of ELM or the colorful characters in ELM’s family.

The point of this blog? The Missus doesn’t think she has the material to start her own blog. She doesn’t think her stories would be funny. Is she kidding me?? This stuff practically writes itself. Plus, she’s already one step ahead in having a moniker all picked out (he even APPROVED it–he is proud to be an Evil Little Man). So I am throwing down the challenge for one new blogger to enter the playing field. Missus, please don’t keep the ELM stories all to yourself! We NEED them!