Why the moniker “Captain Sarcastic”? Here are two events that happened in just one day. You tell me if I am being too harsh.

Just before getting pregnant, another couple we are friends with invited us to join them on a cruise they were taking with several other friends. Immediately, an old wives’ tale popped into my head: if you want to get pregnant, plan a vacation. You are sure to be pregnant and have it mess up your plans. At this stage in our trials of trying to get pregnant, I was willing to go for it. And if we were not pregnant (which is what I suspected would be the case), then, hell, I’d want a vacation. Our friends were surprised we so willingly agreed. What I didn’t think about was the possibility of actually being newly pregnant and on a ship. That turned out to be a bit of a bummer. But that’s another story.

Our friend’s aunt and father drove all of us to the dock. On the way, Captain Sarcastic looks to Mr. Benny (the father) and says, “Knock, knock.” Mr. Benny cordially asks, “Whose there?” Captain Sarcastic answers, “Nola’s pregnant.”

Then, once we are all settled on the ship, we met on the Lido Deck for drinks. This was the first moment since being pregnant that I longed for alcohol. Everyone in our group had a refreshing cocktail with fruit sticking out. I admit I even told the gang, “you know, you are a lot more fun when I’m drinking.” So as I sat moping, Captain Sarcastic leans in and kisses me! This is most unusual, indeed! A public display of affection? For no reason? All kinds of warm fuzzies rush through my mind. Seconds later, however, Captain Sarcastic says to me, “I had to. The camera was on us.” Then he looks up, and I follow his eyes behind me to the deck above. Sure enough, there was a camera crew locked on us.

The ship does these little films of the cruise for the passengers to buy. That night at dinner, one of our friends told us they’d seen us on t.v. When we got back to our room, we turned the t.v. to the channel showing the recurring feed of this video. And there we were with Captain Sarcastic looking oh, so romantic for what I dubbed the “fake kiss.” We did not buy the video.

Granted, these may not be the best examples of sarcasm. But I think you get my point.